So I've been home for just over three weeks now. I'm finally sleeping regular hours, I have found my room and discovered many lost items, I have said hello to the my family, boyfriend, and most of my friends, and overall I'm thrilled to be here. Of course it all hasn't been easy. I've been overwhelmed with English, both when it is spoken and written. I've been challenged with explaining what this year has meant to me succintly, a trait I don't usually posses. I've had to decide which relationships in my life are worth fighting for.
The hardest thing, as I knew it would be, is being without the people that I wedged out places in my heart. I miss my students! I miss the friends I made in Cieszyn. I miss the other missionaries. It hurts my heart to be talking about someone and have to translate their name into English. Asia is not just a continent any more. Kuba is not just a country we have an embargo with. They are not Joanna or Jake or Peter or Maggie or Mike. They are Asia, Kuba, Piotrek, Magda, and Michal-people who taught me so much and encouraged me to keep going through the year. And most of them I will never see again. (I just felt like I twisted a knife in my own chest.) They are the ones who changed me, who made me laugh, who made me cry, and made my year in Cieszyn everything that it was.
It was a beautiful year. And it's over. And I'm home. And in one month I'll pack my life up and move again. And though I will never forget this year in my life and I will always carry these memories and lessons with me, it is time to end here. Writing this blog has been a great release for me, an outlet for me to express myself when I was in a place that made that very difficult to do. Thank you for reading. Thank you for praying. Thank you for caring.
Love and prayers, always,
Colleen
29 June 2010
26 June 2010
The End
I am sitting in my flat. All of my bags are packed. My towels and sheets are spinning in the washer. There are just a few dirty dishes left in the sink and some last bags of trash to be taken out. Yet I still can't really wrap my head around the idea that I am going home. But it's true. I am.
I have said goodbye to my students, my teacher friends, my salsa friends, my school. I will say goodbye to my flat and my director today. Tomorrow in Stockholm I will say goodbye to Sarah, and then some odd eight hours later say hello to America and my family. I have cried tears of varying emotions every day this week, this morning, and without a doubt I will shed many more tomorrow.
Making peace with this year is something I have been trying to do for a few weeks, but I am sure this process will continue for many months. I am not the same woman. I do not understand all of who I am or the ways in which I have been changed. But I know that I am done. I am finished with my work here, and I am ready to come home.
I will post here just once more after I am stateside. Then it will be time to move forward and to start thinking about seminary.
So I'm off. To Ostrava to Vienna to Stockholm to Newark to HOME!
Peace,
Colleen
I have said goodbye to my students, my teacher friends, my salsa friends, my school. I will say goodbye to my flat and my director today. Tomorrow in Stockholm I will say goodbye to Sarah, and then some odd eight hours later say hello to America and my family. I have cried tears of varying emotions every day this week, this morning, and without a doubt I will shed many more tomorrow.
Making peace with this year is something I have been trying to do for a few weeks, but I am sure this process will continue for many months. I am not the same woman. I do not understand all of who I am or the ways in which I have been changed. But I know that I am done. I am finished with my work here, and I am ready to come home.
I will post here just once more after I am stateside. Then it will be time to move forward and to start thinking about seminary.
So I'm off. To Ostrava to Vienna to Stockholm to Newark to HOME!
Peace,
Colleen
23 June 2010
The Last Days of School
This week is probably the loosest, weirdest, unexpected week of the entire school year. As I wrote about before, the marks have been in for about two weeks. This being said, I'm unsure what the incentive is for the students to come to school. Because they love it? Out of their goodness of their heart? They have nothing better to do? I don't know, and let me assure, for the most part the students have not been coming to school. I have seen fewer students in the last three days that I would have on my busiest day earlier in the year. I have played more Scrabble than I ever have in my life. While it is nice to be able to relax with the students, it is sort of frustrating because I feel I have a lot of other things that need my attention. It's been difficult for me to focus on them completely while I my flat is a wreck, my hot water heater is broken (it is fixed now), and while I stress about saying goodbye and then saying hello.
The week has look something like this. Monday I "taught" two lessons to a total of four students. Tuesday I "taught" four lessons, but had no students for the first two, and then only about 15 for the last two. Today the students "had" three lessons, and then the liciuem students had a talent show and a concert from a local Christian rock band. The show was attended by MAYBE 30 students, including some students from other schools who are fans of the band. The talent show consisted of myself and then another female student doing karate. Though I am proud of myself, she by far was the star of the show! She was able to take down one of her classmates and then a teacher, both male and over six feet tall! It was amazing!! Tomorrow we have the graduation of the 3g students, and then Friday is the end of the school year ceremony.
Needless to say, it's been a really strange few days and I feel like getting closure on teaching has been difficult. Ceremonies really help me mark achievements and the passage of time so I hope that I will feel more at peace with all of this come Friday. The next five days are otherwise filled with errands, packing, cleaning, and goodbyes. It's going to be an exhausting few days, but I figure I can sleep on the train, plane, and car that will eventually take me home. Home. It sounds better and better every time I say it.
Blessings,
Colleen
The week has look something like this. Monday I "taught" two lessons to a total of four students. Tuesday I "taught" four lessons, but had no students for the first two, and then only about 15 for the last two. Today the students "had" three lessons, and then the liciuem students had a talent show and a concert from a local Christian rock band. The show was attended by MAYBE 30 students, including some students from other schools who are fans of the band. The talent show consisted of myself and then another female student doing karate. Though I am proud of myself, she by far was the star of the show! She was able to take down one of her classmates and then a teacher, both male and over six feet tall! It was amazing!! Tomorrow we have the graduation of the 3g students, and then Friday is the end of the school year ceremony.
Needless to say, it's been a really strange few days and I feel like getting closure on teaching has been difficult. Ceremonies really help me mark achievements and the passage of time so I hope that I will feel more at peace with all of this come Friday. The next five days are otherwise filled with errands, packing, cleaning, and goodbyes. It's going to be an exhausting few days, but I figure I can sleep on the train, plane, and car that will eventually take me home. Home. It sounds better and better every time I say it.
Blessings,
Colleen
19 June 2010
A Big Surprise
So when I had the choice of going to either Germany or Lithuania with students, I didn't think too much about the decision. I figured that I was already planning on going to Germany with Kerri, and I would have never planned to go to Lithuania on my own, so Lithuania it was! I thought it was sort of crazy to go on a trip during the second to last week of school, but it turns out that it was perfect timing. Traveling to Lithuania is important for LOTE students because they have a shared history from when they shared a king to the back and forth control of Russia. I was looking forwarding to going, but I never expected to love it as much as I did! Lithuania is a beautiful country and it is exactly what I needed!
We left early on Tuesday morning to make the 14 hour bus ride to Vilnius, the capital of Lithuania . It was just about as much fun as it sounds, and it really made MISS interstates and rest stops with more than one toilet. Wednesday was essentially non-stop sight seeing. The students were really worn out by the end of the day, and they were going to mutiny if they were forced to go into one more church. Thursday we visited two other cities, Kaunas, the old capital city, and Kėdainiai, a city that is important to Polish-Lithuanian history. Friday was a mix of one last walk around Vilnius, touring Trakai, and visiting the sister school of LOTE. Oh, and of course 13 hours on a bus to get home at 6am.
Here are some of my favorite tidbits of my trip:
-There is a bridge next to an old church that has a cool fence. Couples who get married in this church bring with them a lock. They lock their lock onto the fence and throw the keys into the river to symbolize that they are together forever. The fence is JUST covered with so many locks.
-I was able to sneak away on an evening walk to get some solo time on Wednesday. After so much Polish, I really needed some time to myself. I walked to the panoramic view of the city. The weather was beautiful and I felt so content sitting on the hill, looking out on the city. I loved each second I spent there.
-Realizing that English is a popular language in Lithuania and that it was is a joy to read English on menus and speak it to waitresses. PLUS hearing the students share stories about their English interactions was fun too!
-On Thursday night we literally dragged the students out on a walk. The director and the history teacher had a meeting to go to, so it was just me and the chemistry teacher. Both of us wanted to go out, so therefore all of the students had to go. (Sorry, kids!) I ended up walking around with her, and though my Polish is awful and she described her English as terrible, we had a really nice time! We talked, laughed, shared tea, and took some great pictures.
-On a store there were signs telling what was appropriate behavior for inside. There the normal ones, shirt and shoes required, no ice cream. However, there was also one that said no guns. Why? Is this a problem? People need to be told NOT to bring guns into stores?
-The last church we saw in Vilnius was St. Peter and St. Paul's Church. It is said that if you have not seen this church you have not seen Vilnius. Inside of the church, there are over 2,000 statues! Everything is white, except for Jesus, and it was stunningly beautiful. The statues were built to help explain the love and word of God to the congregation. There was a time when Lithuania and Poland were united, and though both nations were Catholic and services were conducted in Latin, the sermons were all spoken in Polish. Therefore the poor Lithuanians were lost. I really connect with this feeling. So the church commissioned all of these statues to be built in the sanctuary to show the people what Christ did for them. Being in this church was very moving, and I wish that I would have learned about it early in the year.
-Finally, I want to share about Trakai, a city just outside of Vilnius. It is home to beautiful lakes, the most well-preserved castle in Lithuania, and wonderful parks. This town was absolutely beautiful. I wanted to stay forever. It's a popular weekend getaway destination, I could see why. I wish that I could have spent hours just walking around and exploring. Getting on the bus after my time in Trakai was very difficult.
Again, this was an unexpectedly wonderful trip. I truly hope to go back to Lithuania someday! But now that I'm back in Poland, I really need to focus on my last days here. I've got so much to do over the next week. Packing, cleaning, teaching, saying goodbyes, and above all else, leaving. I think this week is going to be challenging but also wonderful. I hope to be able to write at least one more time before I'm stateside, but we'll see!
Blessings,
Colleen
We left early on Tuesday morning to make the 14 hour bus ride to Vilnius, the capital of Lithuania . It was just about as much fun as it sounds, and it really made MISS interstates and rest stops with more than one toilet. Wednesday was essentially non-stop sight seeing. The students were really worn out by the end of the day, and they were going to mutiny if they were forced to go into one more church. Thursday we visited two other cities, Kaunas, the old capital city, and Kėdainiai, a city that is important to Polish-Lithuanian history. Friday was a mix of one last walk around Vilnius, touring Trakai, and visiting the sister school of LOTE. Oh, and of course 13 hours on a bus to get home at 6am.
Here are some of my favorite tidbits of my trip:
-There is a bridge next to an old church that has a cool fence. Couples who get married in this church bring with them a lock. They lock their lock onto the fence and throw the keys into the river to symbolize that they are together forever. The fence is JUST covered with so many locks.
-I was able to sneak away on an evening walk to get some solo time on Wednesday. After so much Polish, I really needed some time to myself. I walked to the panoramic view of the city. The weather was beautiful and I felt so content sitting on the hill, looking out on the city. I loved each second I spent there.
-Realizing that English is a popular language in Lithuania and that it was is a joy to read English on menus and speak it to waitresses. PLUS hearing the students share stories about their English interactions was fun too!
-On Thursday night we literally dragged the students out on a walk. The director and the history teacher had a meeting to go to, so it was just me and the chemistry teacher. Both of us wanted to go out, so therefore all of the students had to go. (Sorry, kids!) I ended up walking around with her, and though my Polish is awful and she described her English as terrible, we had a really nice time! We talked, laughed, shared tea, and took some great pictures.
-On a store there were signs telling what was appropriate behavior for inside. There the normal ones, shirt and shoes required, no ice cream. However, there was also one that said no guns. Why? Is this a problem? People need to be told NOT to bring guns into stores?
-The last church we saw in Vilnius was St. Peter and St. Paul's Church. It is said that if you have not seen this church you have not seen Vilnius. Inside of the church, there are over 2,000 statues! Everything is white, except for Jesus, and it was stunningly beautiful. The statues were built to help explain the love and word of God to the congregation. There was a time when Lithuania and Poland were united, and though both nations were Catholic and services were conducted in Latin, the sermons were all spoken in Polish. Therefore the poor Lithuanians were lost. I really connect with this feeling. So the church commissioned all of these statues to be built in the sanctuary to show the people what Christ did for them. Being in this church was very moving, and I wish that I would have learned about it early in the year.
-Finally, I want to share about Trakai, a city just outside of Vilnius. It is home to beautiful lakes, the most well-preserved castle in Lithuania, and wonderful parks. This town was absolutely beautiful. I wanted to stay forever. It's a popular weekend getaway destination, I could see why. I wish that I could have spent hours just walking around and exploring. Getting on the bus after my time in Trakai was very difficult.
Again, this was an unexpectedly wonderful trip. I truly hope to go back to Lithuania someday! But now that I'm back in Poland, I really need to focus on my last days here. I've got so much to do over the next week. Packing, cleaning, teaching, saying goodbyes, and above all else, leaving. I think this week is going to be challenging but also wonderful. I hope to be able to write at least one more time before I'm stateside, but we'll see!
Blessings,
Colleen
14 June 2010
A Word of Thanks
One of the coolest things I've learned about and experienced in Polish culture is the tradition of thanking. This ritual takes on many different forms. Couples thank their parents when they get married with big gift baskets and speeches. Choir conductors are thanked with bouquets at the end of concerts. Teachers are thanked by their students on Teachers Day and at prom and graduation. Hosts are thanked with a small gift from their guests. Needless to say, thanking is a big part of the culture here. I have taken some time over the past week preparing to thank the people here in Cieszyn who have made a difference in my life. However, I also wanted to thank some people who are not here in Cieszyn for what they have done to support and encourage me in this journey. So at the risk of this blog sounding think an award acceptance speech, here goes.
Thanks to the ones who raised me to be the woman I am today. For all of the love, trust, learning, discipline, and encouragement you poured into me. I would not be who I am today, and I certainly would not have made it here, without all of your hard work. I am continually amazed that I was able to get on a plane and come here alone without you, but I know that's the whole point of everything you have done for me.
Thanks to the one who loves me loads. For all of the patience you've given me this year, through the good times and the bad times. When I made the decision to come here, you were graciously on board, despite what it meant for us. Thank you for never telling me not go, and for telling me not to leave and not to give up.
Thanks to the ones have watched me grow from a little girl and whom I have watched grow. For your love and encouragement via snail mail, packages, and facebook. I'm blessed to have a family like you.
Thanks to the friend who knew ahead a time what I was getting myself into. For warning me that I would hate all of my clothes (which turns out is not true, I just dream and fantasize about all my other clothes) and for giving me advice every step of the way. For listening to me, for encouraging me, for opening up her arms for me to run into like a screecher monkey. For the taco seasoning, Ranch, Reeses, and Cosmos. Oh, and the feather boa and crown. Duh.
Thank you to my most faithful pen pal. Each letter, whether it was from Flordia, Virginia, or Iowa, made a difference in my daily life. For your visit and adventure here, though I'm not sure we should be allowed to travel around Europe alone.
Thank to the one who loves to guard princesses with me. For our Skype dates and twitter messages. For always listening to my good, bad, ugly, embarrassing, inappropriate, and secret thoughts.
Thank you to the one who came into my life like tornado and turned my life upside down. For not choosing Roanoke, so that we could meet here and start our story in Europe. For every crazy adventure we've embarked on, for talk time and face time, for helping me with my problems (real, imagined, and blisters). For inspiring me to be a better teacher here and a better pastor in the future. (cough, come to Philly, cough!)
Thanks to the ones who serve with me in other places. For the wisdom, comfort, hospitality, laughs, beers, stories, and friendship you have shared with me. For touching my heart and my life with yours.
Thank you to the ones at ILC who continually pray for my well being since I was little up to now. For raising me in a community that taught me strong Christian values and for supporting my ministry from FootSteps to Lutherlyn to Poland to Philadelphia and beyond.
Thanks to the ones who have written me and sent me tokens of their love this year. For each postcard, letter, card, key chain, and pair of Crocs. For each Skype call, facebook post or message, or tweet of encouragement. You have seen me through more dark days than you know.
And finally, thanks be to the One who made me, loves me, forgives me, and saves me each and every day. Thanks be to the One who has blessed me and who stands by me. Thanks be to the One who died so that we all can live and love.
Blessings,
Colleen
Thanks to the ones who raised me to be the woman I am today. For all of the love, trust, learning, discipline, and encouragement you poured into me. I would not be who I am today, and I certainly would not have made it here, without all of your hard work. I am continually amazed that I was able to get on a plane and come here alone without you, but I know that's the whole point of everything you have done for me.
Thanks to the one who loves me loads. For all of the patience you've given me this year, through the good times and the bad times. When I made the decision to come here, you were graciously on board, despite what it meant for us. Thank you for never telling me not go, and for telling me not to leave and not to give up.
Thanks to the ones have watched me grow from a little girl and whom I have watched grow. For your love and encouragement via snail mail, packages, and facebook. I'm blessed to have a family like you.
Thanks to the friend who knew ahead a time what I was getting myself into. For warning me that I would hate all of my clothes (which turns out is not true, I just dream and fantasize about all my other clothes) and for giving me advice every step of the way. For listening to me, for encouraging me, for opening up her arms for me to run into like a screecher monkey. For the taco seasoning, Ranch, Reeses, and Cosmos. Oh, and the feather boa and crown. Duh.
Thank you to my most faithful pen pal. Each letter, whether it was from Flordia, Virginia, or Iowa, made a difference in my daily life. For your visit and adventure here, though I'm not sure we should be allowed to travel around Europe alone.
Thank to the one who loves to guard princesses with me. For our Skype dates and twitter messages. For always listening to my good, bad, ugly, embarrassing, inappropriate, and secret thoughts.
Thank you to the one who came into my life like tornado and turned my life upside down. For not choosing Roanoke, so that we could meet here and start our story in Europe. For every crazy adventure we've embarked on, for talk time and face time, for helping me with my problems (real, imagined, and blisters). For inspiring me to be a better teacher here and a better pastor in the future. (cough, come to Philly, cough!)
Thanks to the ones who serve with me in other places. For the wisdom, comfort, hospitality, laughs, beers, stories, and friendship you have shared with me. For touching my heart and my life with yours.
Thank you to the ones at ILC who continually pray for my well being since I was little up to now. For raising me in a community that taught me strong Christian values and for supporting my ministry from FootSteps to Lutherlyn to Poland to Philadelphia and beyond.
Thanks to the ones who have written me and sent me tokens of their love this year. For each postcard, letter, card, key chain, and pair of Crocs. For each Skype call, facebook post or message, or tweet of encouragement. You have seen me through more dark days than you know.
And finally, thanks be to the One who made me, loves me, forgives me, and saves me each and every day. Thanks be to the One who has blessed me and who stands by me. Thanks be to the One who died so that we all can live and love.
Blessings,
Colleen
13 June 2010
High Five!
So I've been doing some reflection to help me get ready to return to America. One exercise was making lists of five. I thought I would share.
Five things I have missed about home:
-drinking water from the tap
-people
-being able to participate in the church service
-a proper bathtub in which I can extend my legs properly.
-understanding measurements, though I am pro-Metric system in life, a year has not been enough time to understand what 11C means or how tall I am in cm. I also want to include clothing/shoe measurements with this too!
Five things I am content to live without, but am still really excited about:
-screens for windows
-food labels I can read
-a working microwave
-cheddar cheese
-my cellphone!
Fives things I will NOT miss about here:
-having to light a match every time I want to do something on my stove.
-writing lesson plans
-always having to walk uphill with groceries, no matter which grocery store I go to
-being paid in cash
-not being able to communicate properly with shopkeepers/waitresses
Five things I will miss about here:
-my students
-the people I have met
-random acts of Catholicism (monks, nuns, JPII statues)
-my salsa class
-being able to walk everywhere I need to go, including to the train station that connects me to the rest of Europe
At this time in two weeks I will be somewhere in the air over Europe, working my way back to America. This is a crazy thought, but it's also crazy thinking about what all I have to do in the next two weeks. I'm going to Lithuania, I have to say goodbye, I have to pack, I have an end of the year dinner with the boss, and somehow make peace about leaving. I am going to be busy!
Blessings,
Colleen
Five things I have missed about home:
-drinking water from the tap
-people
-being able to participate in the church service
-a proper bathtub in which I can extend my legs properly.
-understanding measurements, though I am pro-Metric system in life, a year has not been enough time to understand what 11C means or how tall I am in cm. I also want to include clothing/shoe measurements with this too!
Five things I am content to live without, but am still really excited about:
-screens for windows
-food labels I can read
-a working microwave
-cheddar cheese
-my cellphone!
Fives things I will NOT miss about here:
-having to light a match every time I want to do something on my stove.
-writing lesson plans
-always having to walk uphill with groceries, no matter which grocery store I go to
-being paid in cash
-not being able to communicate properly with shopkeepers/waitresses
Five things I will miss about here:
-my students
-the people I have met
-random acts of Catholicism (monks, nuns, JPII statues)
-my salsa class
-being able to walk everywhere I need to go, including to the train station that connects me to the rest of Europe
At this time in two weeks I will be somewhere in the air over Europe, working my way back to America. This is a crazy thought, but it's also crazy thinking about what all I have to do in the next two weeks. I'm going to Lithuania, I have to say goodbye, I have to pack, I have an end of the year dinner with the boss, and somehow make peace about leaving. I am going to be busy!
Blessings,
Colleen
10 June 2010
A Week of Parties
This past week has been marked with several different parties that I would like to share.
Missionary Reunion
In total there are 27 missionaries serving as teachers in Slovakia and Poland. Sarah had the great idea of inviting everyone to visit us in Poland! Though we had had a few visitors over the year, not everyone had made it out our way yet. Plus, we haven't had a large group gathering since Thanksgiving. I was really excited to have them all come and to show them what life is like here. Overall, it was a wonderful weekend. It was such a joy to catch up and get to know more the wonderful people that are a part of this community. I even found a sorority sister from a different chapter! We shared stories, laughter, and tears. Though I did not know some of them before this weekend, I was sad to see everyone go. Especially because these people understand what I'm going through because they are going through it too. It was so good being able to talk with this group about the joys and anxieties connected with going home. The weekend was very special and I'm so thankful for the time spent with such a support and inspiring group of people.
Community Taco Party
My Monday afternoons have been spent with three students from a neighboring high school working on their English conversation skills. In order to celebrate the end of our time, I decided to invite them over for tacos! Mexican food is a new thing here in Poland, so it was a special treat of them. Only two of the three students were able to make it, but we had a great time eating tacos off of my ironing board. I have really enjoyed working with this small group because they are motivated to speak with me. Another reason I love this group so much is that I can be more informal with them. I am their tutor more than their teacher, so I don't have to use all the usual classroom formalities.
Best. Salsatek. Ever.
Of course you know that Tuesday is salsa night! This past Tuesday was no exception. I went to class per usual and was just planning on coming home after since Maria wasn't able to go the party. However, I was surprised and excited when the university students who are in my class invited me to go out with them! I said yes in an instant and ended up having a great night. It was so fun to sit and laugh with this group. They really made me feel welcome. Dancing with them was also super fun because we're all beginners, so we had nothing to be embarrassed about. I hope that I am able to go to one more salsatek with them before my time here is up.
3g Stromboli Party
Making stromboli has been a beloved tradition for my home group of friends for many years. We make it for birthdays, Christmas, hello and goodbye parties. I shared this stromboli with some fellow teachers, but never with students. Since this group of eight girls are "graduating" from middle school and since they love to cook, I decided this would be the perfect group to make stromboli with. I woke up early on the day of the party to start the bread. In America, we use frozen bread loaves, but those don't exist here. This was the first time I made it by myself, but it turned out really well! The girls came over around 1pm and we started to work. They thought it was a really funny food, and of course they loved being in a teacher's home. They asked all sorts of questions about the pictures on my walls. They brought cake and other treats to share. I knew the party was a success when then 1) asked for recipes and 2) asked if one of their friends could come because they had to work on a project and they didn't want to leave.
Needless to say this past week has been a whirlwind, and by the look of things, nothing is going to slow down. So here's to the marathon/sprint (it feels like both depending on the day) to America!
Blessings,
Colleen
Missionary Reunion
In total there are 27 missionaries serving as teachers in Slovakia and Poland. Sarah had the great idea of inviting everyone to visit us in Poland! Though we had had a few visitors over the year, not everyone had made it out our way yet. Plus, we haven't had a large group gathering since Thanksgiving. I was really excited to have them all come and to show them what life is like here. Overall, it was a wonderful weekend. It was such a joy to catch up and get to know more the wonderful people that are a part of this community. I even found a sorority sister from a different chapter! We shared stories, laughter, and tears. Though I did not know some of them before this weekend, I was sad to see everyone go. Especially because these people understand what I'm going through because they are going through it too. It was so good being able to talk with this group about the joys and anxieties connected with going home. The weekend was very special and I'm so thankful for the time spent with such a support and inspiring group of people.
Community Taco Party
My Monday afternoons have been spent with three students from a neighboring high school working on their English conversation skills. In order to celebrate the end of our time, I decided to invite them over for tacos! Mexican food is a new thing here in Poland, so it was a special treat of them. Only two of the three students were able to make it, but we had a great time eating tacos off of my ironing board. I have really enjoyed working with this small group because they are motivated to speak with me. Another reason I love this group so much is that I can be more informal with them. I am their tutor more than their teacher, so I don't have to use all the usual classroom formalities.
Best. Salsatek. Ever.
Of course you know that Tuesday is salsa night! This past Tuesday was no exception. I went to class per usual and was just planning on coming home after since Maria wasn't able to go the party. However, I was surprised and excited when the university students who are in my class invited me to go out with them! I said yes in an instant and ended up having a great night. It was so fun to sit and laugh with this group. They really made me feel welcome. Dancing with them was also super fun because we're all beginners, so we had nothing to be embarrassed about. I hope that I am able to go to one more salsatek with them before my time here is up.
3g Stromboli Party
Making stromboli has been a beloved tradition for my home group of friends for many years. We make it for birthdays, Christmas, hello and goodbye parties. I shared this stromboli with some fellow teachers, but never with students. Since this group of eight girls are "graduating" from middle school and since they love to cook, I decided this would be the perfect group to make stromboli with. I woke up early on the day of the party to start the bread. In America, we use frozen bread loaves, but those don't exist here. This was the first time I made it by myself, but it turned out really well! The girls came over around 1pm and we started to work. They thought it was a really funny food, and of course they loved being in a teacher's home. They asked all sorts of questions about the pictures on my walls. They brought cake and other treats to share. I knew the party was a success when then 1) asked for recipes and 2) asked if one of their friends could come because they had to work on a project and they didn't want to leave.
Needless to say this past week has been a whirlwind, and by the look of things, nothing is going to slow down. So here's to the marathon/sprint (it feels like both depending on the day) to America!
Blessings,
Colleen
09 June 2010
FYI
After reading my latest blog post, a dear friend of mine sent along something that helped her when she transitioned back to America after being in Jerusalem for the year with the ECLA's Young Adult in Global Mission Program. I've adapted the list to fit my situation and have added some reflections. (I also replaced YAGM with Colleen!)
Some Suggestions for Helping your Colleen Return Home
1. Don’t ask the question, “So how was it?” Your Colleen cannot function in one-word answers right now, especially ones intended to sum up their entire year’s experience, and being asked to do so may cause them to start laughing or crying uncontrollably. Ask more specific questions, like “Who was your closest friend?” or “What did you do in your free time?” or “What was the food like?” or “Tell me about your typical day.” I feel its common knowledge that I don't tell stories quickly, so if you ask how it was, you had better pull up a rocking chair. It may be a while.
2. If you wish to spend time with your Colleen, let her take the lead on where to go and what to do. Recognize that seemingly mundane rituals, like grocery shopping or going to the movies, may be extremely difficult for someone who has just spent a year living in a country that does not speak English. One former YAGM, for example, faced with the daunting task of choosing a tube of toothpaste from the 70-odd kinds available, simply threw up in the middle of the drugstore. I do not anticipate vomiting anywhere, but I did almost cry when in the SMALL grocery section of a Mark & Spencer's in Warsaw. Suddenly being able to read and understand everything is very overwhelming. I have not been able to understand most of my environment so complete comprehension is going to be sensory overload
3. Expect some feelings of jealousy and resentment. Relationships that form during periods of uncertainty and vulnerability (the first few months in a foreign country, for example) form quickly and deeply. The fact that your Colleen talks non-stop about her friends from Poland doesn’t mean that she doesn't love you, too. It simply means that she is mourning the loss (at least in part) of the deep, meaningful, important relationships that helped them to survive and to thrive during this last year. In this regard, treat them as you would anyone else mourning a loss. I know that I couldn't have made it through the year without the support of my both my home and Europe people. I love everyone.
4. Asking to see photos of your Colleen’s year in service is highly recommended, providing you have an entire day off from work. Multiply the number of photos you take during a week’s vacation, multiply that by 52, and you understand the predicament. If you have an entire day, fine. If not, take a cue from number 1 above, and ask to see specific things, like students, travels or friends. Better yet, set up a number of “photo dates,” and delve into a different section each time. Given the high percentage of people whose eyes glaze over after the first page of someone else’s photos, and the frustration that can cause for someone bursting with stories to tell, this would be an incredible gift. I've included a good spread of my photos in my presentation to be shared with my congregation and at camp. Maybe ask to see this, even if it feels silly because it is just the two of us.
5. At least half the things that come out of your Colleen’s mouth for the first few months will begin with, “In Poland” (which is ironic because all I talk about here is "In America. . . .") This will undoubtedly begin to annoy the crap out of you after the first few weeks. Actually saying so, however, will prove far less effective than listening and asking interested questions. Besides, you can bet that someone else will let slip exactly what you’re thinking, letting you off the hook. I feel this is similar to the "At camp. . . ." stories that everyone has already put up with from me. I have also tried to keep up with some American pop culture things so we can talk about this too, mainly Glee, Grey's Anatomy, and The Bachelorette.
6. That said, speak up when you need to! Be assertive enough to create the space to share what has happened in your life during the last year. This one is really important to me! I want to know what is happening in your life! I know several friends have said, "I feel so connected to you because I read your blog." I'm so thankful for that fact, but at the same time, if I'm not reading your blog, I don't necessarily feel so connected. And I want to be! Your stories are JUST AS IMPORTANT as mine.
7. Perhaps you had hopes, dreams, and aspirations for your Colleen that were interrupted by her year of service. If so, you may as well throw them out the window. A large percentage of returning missionaries make significant changes to their long-term goals and plans. Some of them have spent a year doing something they never thought they’d enjoy, only to find themselves drawn to it as a career. Others have spent a year doing exactly what they envisioned doing for the rest of their lives, only to find that they hate it. Regardless of the direction your Colleen takes when they return, rejoice! This year hasn’t changed who they are; it has simply made them better at discerning God’s call on their lives. Don't worry- I am still seminary bound! LTSP here I come!
8. Go easy on yourself, and go easy on your Colleen. Understand that reverse culture shock is not an exact science, and manifests itself differently in each person. Expect good days and bad days. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Pray. Laugh. Cry. This too shall pass, and in the end, you’ll both be the richer for it.
I hope that this is helpful and that it can provide some insight into what I will be going through over the coming weeks and I move back to America. It's going to be a beautiful, joyous, exciting, but messy time! And today I can say, that I am truly looking forward to it!
Blessings,
Colleen
Some Suggestions for Helping your Colleen Return Home
1. Don’t ask the question, “So how was it?” Your Colleen cannot function in one-word answers right now, especially ones intended to sum up their entire year’s experience, and being asked to do so may cause them to start laughing or crying uncontrollably. Ask more specific questions, like “Who was your closest friend?” or “What did you do in your free time?” or “What was the food like?” or “Tell me about your typical day.” I feel its common knowledge that I don't tell stories quickly, so if you ask how it was, you had better pull up a rocking chair. It may be a while.
2. If you wish to spend time with your Colleen, let her take the lead on where to go and what to do. Recognize that seemingly mundane rituals, like grocery shopping or going to the movies, may be extremely difficult for someone who has just spent a year living in a country that does not speak English. One former YAGM, for example, faced with the daunting task of choosing a tube of toothpaste from the 70-odd kinds available, simply threw up in the middle of the drugstore. I do not anticipate vomiting anywhere, but I did almost cry when in the SMALL grocery section of a Mark & Spencer's in Warsaw. Suddenly being able to read and understand everything is very overwhelming. I have not been able to understand most of my environment so complete comprehension is going to be sensory overload
3. Expect some feelings of jealousy and resentment. Relationships that form during periods of uncertainty and vulnerability (the first few months in a foreign country, for example) form quickly and deeply. The fact that your Colleen talks non-stop about her friends from Poland doesn’t mean that she doesn't love you, too. It simply means that she is mourning the loss (at least in part) of the deep, meaningful, important relationships that helped them to survive and to thrive during this last year. In this regard, treat them as you would anyone else mourning a loss. I know that I couldn't have made it through the year without the support of my both my home and Europe people. I love everyone.
4. Asking to see photos of your Colleen’s year in service is highly recommended, providing you have an entire day off from work. Multiply the number of photos you take during a week’s vacation, multiply that by 52, and you understand the predicament. If you have an entire day, fine. If not, take a cue from number 1 above, and ask to see specific things, like students, travels or friends. Better yet, set up a number of “photo dates,” and delve into a different section each time. Given the high percentage of people whose eyes glaze over after the first page of someone else’s photos, and the frustration that can cause for someone bursting with stories to tell, this would be an incredible gift. I've included a good spread of my photos in my presentation to be shared with my congregation and at camp. Maybe ask to see this, even if it feels silly because it is just the two of us.
5. At least half the things that come out of your Colleen’s mouth for the first few months will begin with, “In Poland” (which is ironic because all I talk about here is "In America. . . .") This will undoubtedly begin to annoy the crap out of you after the first few weeks. Actually saying so, however, will prove far less effective than listening and asking interested questions. Besides, you can bet that someone else will let slip exactly what you’re thinking, letting you off the hook. I feel this is similar to the "At camp. . . ." stories that everyone has already put up with from me. I have also tried to keep up with some American pop culture things so we can talk about this too, mainly Glee, Grey's Anatomy, and The Bachelorette.
6. That said, speak up when you need to! Be assertive enough to create the space to share what has happened in your life during the last year. This one is really important to me! I want to know what is happening in your life! I know several friends have said, "I feel so connected to you because I read your blog." I'm so thankful for that fact, but at the same time, if I'm not reading your blog, I don't necessarily feel so connected. And I want to be! Your stories are JUST AS IMPORTANT as mine.
7. Perhaps you had hopes, dreams, and aspirations for your Colleen that were interrupted by her year of service. If so, you may as well throw them out the window. A large percentage of returning missionaries make significant changes to their long-term goals and plans. Some of them have spent a year doing something they never thought they’d enjoy, only to find themselves drawn to it as a career. Others have spent a year doing exactly what they envisioned doing for the rest of their lives, only to find that they hate it. Regardless of the direction your Colleen takes when they return, rejoice! This year hasn’t changed who they are; it has simply made them better at discerning God’s call on their lives. Don't worry- I am still seminary bound! LTSP here I come!
8. Go easy on yourself, and go easy on your Colleen. Understand that reverse culture shock is not an exact science, and manifests itself differently in each person. Expect good days and bad days. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Pray. Laugh. Cry. This too shall pass, and in the end, you’ll both be the richer for it.
I hope that this is helpful and that it can provide some insight into what I will be going through over the coming weeks and I move back to America. It's going to be a beautiful, joyous, exciting, but messy time! And today I can say, that I am truly looking forward to it!
Blessings,
Colleen
06 June 2010
The Beginning of the End
First, I have an announcement. THE SUN AS BEEN OUT FOR TWO GLORIOUS DAYS IN A ROW!!!
Second, the end of my time here is Poland has truly begun. Today alone I have said see you later to over 10 people that I may or may not ever see again. This coming week is my last full and normal week of classes. And I need to tell you something: I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to come home. With each passing day I realize that this is going to be a messy process, both making my peace here in Poland and then again becoming comfortable again in America.
This is what I know I need:
-To be actively working on crossing things off my "Before America" list
-A charged camera battery to capture precious moments.
-Patience. For myself to let myself feel and embrace each emotion and each moment. And patience from my people (European and American) to let me find my words.
This is the beginning of the end.
Peace,
Colleen
Second, the end of my time here is Poland has truly begun. Today alone I have said see you later to over 10 people that I may or may not ever see again. This coming week is my last full and normal week of classes. And I need to tell you something: I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to come home. With each passing day I realize that this is going to be a messy process, both making my peace here in Poland and then again becoming comfortable again in America.
This is what I know I need:
-To be actively working on crossing things off my "Before America" list
-A charged camera battery to capture precious moments.
-Patience. For myself to let myself feel and embrace each emotion and each moment. And patience from my people (European and American) to let me find my words.
This is the beginning of the end.
Peace,
Colleen
02 June 2010
Salsa Successes
Other than church and school, salsa class is that situation where I am most surrounded by a group of Poles that I am expected to interact with. Truth be told, it is the most demanding interaction I have with anyone here. In church, people do not really pay attention to me and they couldn't care less what I do as long as I am quiet and am sitting and standing on cue. At school, everyone knows that I don't speak Polish so I am forgiven for any blunders I may make, and in my classroom my students are expected to keep up with me. Salsa class is the exact opposite of these situations. Not everyone knows that I am American, I have to keep up, and everyone is watching what everyone else is doing. Therefore this hour and a half is the most demanding chunk of time of my week, but it is also the best time of the week. I am recognizably slow on the uptake because I have to wait to watch what the teacher does instead of just responding to what he says. But once I've got the moves down, I really am able to relax into the music and enjoy myself.
Here are some stories about my salsa adventures over the last week.
On Saturday night, Maria and I decided to go to a town outside of Katowice for the party of the Primavera Salsa Open, which is a national salsa festival. Some of the best dancers in Poland were at this festival and at the party. It was so cool to watch the skilled dancers let loose and have fun with their friends. I even braved the dance floor twice with two different partners. My first partner said that he didn't want to be my "master" so though he was a good dancer, he was a poor leader. My second partner was definitely my master and it was so much easier to dance with him! I am still a beginner and I've realized that I really need a strong hand to follow if he wants me to do more complicated figures than what I have learned thus far. This salsa party was by far the biggest I have been to yet, and it was a great night.
In case I haven't mentioned it, it has been raining here, incessantly, since April. It's still raining. So to go to my class yesterday, I suited up in my long raincoat, duct-taped rain boots, and umbrella. At the first crosswalk I came to a car started blowing his horn at me. I was very confused because I don't really know that many people here and I did not recognize the car. After a few more blows and some awkward staring, I realized it was two of my acquaintances from class! They pulled over and gave me a ride to the studio! I was so appreciative of their kindness. One of them also said something funny. He said, "Anna just told me last week that you are from America. I just thought you were shy and that you didn't like me. I didn't know you spoke English!" It was really sweet and very nice. And after that he had a lot of fun chatting with me in English.
My last story is from the Cesky Tesin Salsa Party. Maria and I went after her salsa class with a Polish couple who lives on the Czech side. The husband spoke in English to me, but the wife was shy and quiet. They invited us to sit with them and their friends. When Maria was dancing, I introduced myself, in Polish, to the woman who was also left at the table. I soon divulged that I'm American and it turns out that she and her two friends spoke English. Her one friend, spoke very well and we talked for quite a long time even after the other two lost interest. Also, one of the instructors from my studio, not my teacher but one of the others, asked me to dance. He knows I am a beginner, but he was a wonderful leader. After we finished he said that I was a fast learner and that he was impressed. I was flattered to know that my craziness in taking this chance is paying off.
When I came to Poland, I struggled with how to get involved and how to make friends. Everything was so overwhelming that I didn't know how to reach out. Because of this initial challenge with getting settled, I am even more thankful for my friendship with Maria and how she has encouraged me to go out of my comfort zone. I am also grateful for anyone who is willing to speak in English with me-regardless of their level. Though it has taken many months, I finally feel like I have some small niche here. I finally feel like I have a place where I belong.
Blessings,
Colleen
Here are some stories about my salsa adventures over the last week.
On Saturday night, Maria and I decided to go to a town outside of Katowice for the party of the Primavera Salsa Open, which is a national salsa festival. Some of the best dancers in Poland were at this festival and at the party. It was so cool to watch the skilled dancers let loose and have fun with their friends. I even braved the dance floor twice with two different partners. My first partner said that he didn't want to be my "master" so though he was a good dancer, he was a poor leader. My second partner was definitely my master and it was so much easier to dance with him! I am still a beginner and I've realized that I really need a strong hand to follow if he wants me to do more complicated figures than what I have learned thus far. This salsa party was by far the biggest I have been to yet, and it was a great night.
In case I haven't mentioned it, it has been raining here, incessantly, since April. It's still raining. So to go to my class yesterday, I suited up in my long raincoat, duct-taped rain boots, and umbrella. At the first crosswalk I came to a car started blowing his horn at me. I was very confused because I don't really know that many people here and I did not recognize the car. After a few more blows and some awkward staring, I realized it was two of my acquaintances from class! They pulled over and gave me a ride to the studio! I was so appreciative of their kindness. One of them also said something funny. He said, "Anna just told me last week that you are from America. I just thought you were shy and that you didn't like me. I didn't know you spoke English!" It was really sweet and very nice. And after that he had a lot of fun chatting with me in English.
My last story is from the Cesky Tesin Salsa Party. Maria and I went after her salsa class with a Polish couple who lives on the Czech side. The husband spoke in English to me, but the wife was shy and quiet. They invited us to sit with them and their friends. When Maria was dancing, I introduced myself, in Polish, to the woman who was also left at the table. I soon divulged that I'm American and it turns out that she and her two friends spoke English. Her one friend, spoke very well and we talked for quite a long time even after the other two lost interest. Also, one of the instructors from my studio, not my teacher but one of the others, asked me to dance. He knows I am a beginner, but he was a wonderful leader. After we finished he said that I was a fast learner and that he was impressed. I was flattered to know that my craziness in taking this chance is paying off.
When I came to Poland, I struggled with how to get involved and how to make friends. Everything was so overwhelming that I didn't know how to reach out. Because of this initial challenge with getting settled, I am even more thankful for my friendship with Maria and how she has encouraged me to go out of my comfort zone. I am also grateful for anyone who is willing to speak in English with me-regardless of their level. Though it has taken many months, I finally feel like I have some small niche here. I finally feel like I have a place where I belong.
Blessings,
Colleen
01 June 2010
The Marks Are In!
I have officially entered all of my marks for this semester into the class registers. Well, almost all. I have three students who have missed EVERY class that a grade was given, so they have no grade. They have two more days to come and find me, or they will get a 1 or a 2. So other than that, I am done. This is a wonderful feeling, though somewhat frustrating because it is still only June 1st, and school does not end until June 25th. Why am I done so early, you ask? My grades are due before the regular teachers' grades because my grade is just a part of their English grade. So my grades are due on Monday and then their final final grades are due on that next Friday. I realize that it is still only Tuesday but we do not have school on Thursday and Friday because of Corpus Christi. So basically I needed to get them done and in, so I did.
Now I am somewhat puzzled as to what I am going to do for the rest of the month. I'm very thankful and very excited that I am leaving for a week to Lithuania with the first graders. I am looking into just playing some fun games and relaxing with the students. They have worked hard and I am more than okay with having less structured classes these last few times.
The other project I am currently working on is a Talent Show that will take place on the last Wednesday. In order to encourage the students to participate and break out of their comfort levels, I have agreed to perform if 10 student groups sign up. So far 2 people have, one dancer and then a "comedy show." Both of these groups signed up today, so I think I had better start practicing something! Yikes!
Oh, and the weather here. Still raining. We have sun here and there, but not enough to break through the gray that has been here since APRIL. Hopefully the sun will come out and stay out soon!
Blessings,
Colleen
Now I am somewhat puzzled as to what I am going to do for the rest of the month. I'm very thankful and very excited that I am leaving for a week to Lithuania with the first graders. I am looking into just playing some fun games and relaxing with the students. They have worked hard and I am more than okay with having less structured classes these last few times.
The other project I am currently working on is a Talent Show that will take place on the last Wednesday. In order to encourage the students to participate and break out of their comfort levels, I have agreed to perform if 10 student groups sign up. So far 2 people have, one dancer and then a "comedy show." Both of these groups signed up today, so I think I had better start practicing something! Yikes!
Oh, and the weather here. Still raining. We have sun here and there, but not enough to break through the gray that has been here since APRIL. Hopefully the sun will come out and stay out soon!
Blessings,
Colleen
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