Going to the Chapel, and We're Gonna Get Married

This post is not about me getting married or engaged or anything like that. Those things will happen in my future, but this post is not about that. So sorry if I got you hopes up about anything. The Atlantic Ocean makes certain things in a relationship rather difficult. . .engagement and marriage being two such things. Instead this post is about Polish wedding traditions. I believe I have mentioned how we have befriended our internet guy and his lovely finance. We get together with them about once a week to share food, drink, and conversation. She is studying to become an English teacher, so in some respects it is good for her education. But more than that they are becoming dear friends, who are willing to help us survive. Last week they shared with us a DVD of her cousin's wedding, and I was amazed by the rich rituals and traditions that are a part of this sacred ceremony. Some are silly and some brought tears to my eyes, even though I didn't know the bride and the groom.

The first thing that is startling is that EVERYTHING is recorded for the wedding DVD. I mean EVERYTHING. From the bride getting ready, to the photo shoot, to the end of the reception. We spent well over an hour and a half watching this DVD and we skipped through some parts.

The bride gets ready for the special day at her parent's home, where she probably still lives. Her mother and sisters (if she has any) help her into her dress and to fix her hair. The family also decorates the outside of the house with balloons and other such decorations. The groom then comes to the house to get the bride for the wedding. He enters the house with his immediate family where he must "purchase" the bride from her family with money, gifts or jewelry. A small scene of bartering takes place which is all in good fun and often includes the offering of a little sister instead or the bride showing the groom only his leg. Eventually the bride's family gives in, and they can see each other for the first time on their special day. The next step is for the parents to bless the couple. This can be as simple as making the sign of the cross on their forehead or it can be a more complicated prayer. Grandparents may also bless the couple. Now they begin the journey to the church.

Now this is not as simple as getting in the car and just driving there. Along the way, friends and strangers alike get in the way of the car that holds the bride and groom and they demand payment of some kind either money, candy or vodka. This is seen as "hush money" to keep the secrets of the groom's past. After some time the bridal party reaches the church and the ceremony can begin. The bride either walks down the aisle by herself or with the groom. Also, instead of bridesmaids or groomsmen there are only two witnesses (a man and a woman) that sign the marriage certificate.

After the church service has ended the newly weds go outside of the church and their friends and family throw change at them and then they collect it. The guests then head on to the reception hall while the couple and the photographer and videographer go take millions of pictures. They often take pictures in nature or around historic sites in town. Once they have finished they also go to the reception hall where the all-night party commences.

The reception has many elements, of which food, drink, and dancing are the most basic, though there are many special traditions. The first one is drinking champagne out of flutes that are tied together with ribbon. After they have drank the champagne, they throw the glasses over the shoulder so that they smash for good luck. The groom must then clean up the pieces with a decorated broom and dustpan. Music is provided by a band that plays traditional music and the certain more modern songs that have become wedding classics. Throughout the reception, the video camera is still rolling and conducts interviews with the guests so that they can give the newly weds a message.

Another special tradition is the giving of parent gifts. The bride and the groom give a speech about all that their parents have done for them, and then present them with a nice gift basket or some similar present. There is also a song that follows that thanks parents for the love and guidance that they have given to their children. There are also special games that are played throughout the reception. One such games has two teams with the same number of people with one person from each team representing a character in a story. Every time the character's name is read aloud, he/she must run around the bench where his/her team sits. It is a silly game that can get very competitive.

At midnight, the bride and the groom throw their special items. Instead of a bouquet and garter, they throw the bride's veil and the groom's tie. Getting these items is a challenge. The bride is surrounded by all of the single ladies in a tight circle. The ladies circle around the bride, and do their best to keep the groom out, while he tries to break through the circle to get to the bride. Once he succeeds, the bride has a turn of breaking through a circle of the single men. But the party does not stop yet. The guests often stay until day break dancing and celebrating the joyous union. I hope that during my time here I am lucky enough to attend a wedding so that I can see all of these wonderful traditions in action! And who knows, maybe some of these traditions will be a part of my own wedding someday.

Blessings,
Colleen